Crankiness and Science Fair Projects

I don't know if anybody actually reads this other then the times I post the link. I'm keeping up what I said I would do anyway.

Today has been a tough day for me. I haven't had a patch on all day because I have one left and can't just spend the money to buy another box. The craving for a ciggarette are AWFUL today! I have been cranky and especially cranky with my kids. One of them because he put off doing his science fair project till last minute, tonight. Well, he had already had the experiment going, just had to put the board and the report together tonight. He was over an hour late to bed, so we'll see just how happy he is in the morning. They are due by 8am tomorrow(this) morning. I'll post pictures tomorrow, I'm too tired to load them tonight.

My daughter acted up while we were at Walmart. She didn't want to stay put and I had to repeat pretty much everything I told her to do. She was melting down towards the end of the trip, pretty much while we waited in line to check out. I would tell her that her actions had consequences. She didn't do what she was told so she lost that little bit of freedom to stand on the other side of the cart away from me.

Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day, after all going to see Kid Rock in concert, so it has to be right?

Sometimes it's best just to keep your mouth shut...

I was looking at 2peas today and saw a post asking what other's meal plans were for the week. My son was behind me and I commented that some of the stuff sounded really good. He said that we should do that and that they needed a chore list. So I told him, that it sure did sound like a GREAT idea and that they could start tomorrow! lol He's trying to convince me that Friday would be a good day to start. HA! I asked him what the fun of that was because they were going to their dad's this weekend. lol

So he was mad while we drove to his spring training for baseball. I know he is wishing he just kept his mouth shut! lol

As for the thunderstorms that were here earlier they're gone now. Bummer. :-( I love storms! The weather has been crazy though!!! Never know what you're going to get!

I'm going to try to get some sleep, goodnight!

Holy Crap!!

I just got back on here for the first time in a very LONG time and looked at all my posts. One whole post in 2010. Geesh!

Well to update just a little we had our pre trial hearing last Monday. We were able to reach an agreement, so were put in front of the judge to put everything "on record". How nerve wracking that is?! I could barely get by with a whisper and by the end of it, when the judge said it was granted I was a sniveling ball of tears. So much so, his lawyer asked him if I really wanted the divorce. haha I do but like I told him, we have almost 12 years built up in "us". It's a lot to see that go.

After court was over we sat in the parking lot and talked for about 20 or 30 mins. He said he had no regrets of us, and that he regrets the divorce sometimes because he was "content". He said that while he's not "in love" with me anymore he still loves me and always will. I am the mother of his children. I was a little mean with my comments though, I flat out told him that I did not regret asking for the divorce. Even with all the extra stress that I have to deal with now I'm much happier and feel so much better.

I deserve so much better than "content". I deserve someone that would rather be here with me and the kids then off and gone every weekend because of bowfishing. I'm not talking the occasional fishing trip with the guys, he was gone literally EVERY weekend he didn't have to work. Leaving me here alone with the kids all of the time. I have noticed that I have very little "close" friends, starting to get some of them back. It's taking some time. I just didn't realize how isolated I had become.

The kids wish their dad would move back in and stay forever. I hate that this decision that I made hurt them this way. It's going to be something they probably wish for a very long time to come. They know this is not going to happen though. Their dad has a girlfriend and they know this. His girlfriend posts on his facebook how much she loves him, blah, blah, blah. What he doesn't seem to get is that his son "sees" that. I wish he would talk to her and tell her to leave that stuff to a private message. He's all about not making big changes to the kids, but lets her do that. How is this not a huge change? I just don't understand.

One of these changes is when he moves out of his mom's house. He says that he's still going to have his mom pick them up and just stay at her house for his weekends. You know, "so they don't have another big change to deal with". I think it's just because he doesn't want to be responsible for them by himself. Right now, on his weekends he still leaves to go bowfishing. Pisses me off! He can see them anytime he wants but just gets them on his two weekends a month. Then leaves to go out with his buddies. How is that right to the kids? Maybe I'm wrong on this, but I just think he is so wrong in this.

When we first were separated I found out about a girl he had been seeing. He told me they didn't do anything until I told him I wanted out. Later I found out that she had been on his boat about 6 months BEFORE I told him anything. So that pretty much blew that out of the water(no pun intended). She told him all kinds of lies about me and my best friend. If you know her, you know to take everything she says with a pretty huge grain of salt. She lies, manipulates to get what she wants and is pretty well known as the town slut here. So anyway, she hates me apparently so that's where this lying on me and going after my husband comes in.

She told him that my best friend and I were having an affair. What made it worse is that she told him that my best friend told her everything. When I told my best friend, he got so angry with her. He called her up and told her to leave him alone, she was never to come by or call him again. With all this though, I have to thank the ex and her. I never would have thought about my best friend that way until they brought it up. Just here recently we've been talking about taking the plunge and crossing that friendship line.

It's a scary proposition about dating my best friend. What happens to us as friends if we split up? The thing that keeps popping into my head is, what happens if it would have been the best thing to ever happen and I let it slip by my fingers? We've went out a couple of times and are fixing to go to concert in a few days. He's been there for me, watched my kids when I've needed the break, and let me cry on his shoulder. There may be a chance for a new beginning here and I really think I'm going to take it. I don't cry anymore about my divorce, aside from court the other day. Hadn't cried about it in a very long time. I think I have come to terms with it and I've went through all the usual steps. It should be OK if I move on, at least I think it will be. I'm at the very least dipping my toes in the water anyway.

In regards in other aspects of my life, I've quit smoking. Today marks Day 9, or well it's Sunday morning technically so Day 10. lol This is hard stuff! I've been more cranky then usual and still trying to get completely better since I was sick a couple of weeks ago. I think I'm still weak and a little bit run down from that. My son told me that he doesn't want me to be alone when asked why he's all of a sudden protective of me. He started this about the time his dad told him about the new girlfriend. I told him not to worry about it, I'm in no big hurry to find someone new and if it happens it happens. If it doesn't, it doesn't. At any rate, they know my best friend and they love him. They WON'T know about us being a couple, if that happens, at least for awhile.

My son has kept his grades up through all of this getting Straight A's his first "real" report card and all A's and one B on the last one. My daughter is getting better with her speech every day and making strides in her life. Basically she is really loving Kindergarten! We have some issues with her tantrums and some other basic problems that come with 6 yr olds. They're doing fine otherwise, I believe. I couldn't be more proud of them! They are the light in my eyes and are first and foremost in my heart.

That got super long!! Shows what I get for not posting for almost a year! lol I'm going to try to be better at this. I know I've said that before time and time again so hopefully I can keep it going! Well, may get a new one to reflect the change from SAHM to working mom. Thanks for reading! :-)

Fall Break and a Birthday...

As I said last week the kids were out on Fall Break. THEY ARE NOW BACK!!! :) I'm glad. I had all four of them all week. Now I'm down to baby girl. Who's taking her socks off thinking she's being all sly. haha

Anyway, spent the week playing with them. Sat was Jeff's little boy's birthday. I made his cake too. Used an old Wilton Superman Pan and converted it into a Spiderman cake. Here are some pics:

The cupcakes:

Level profile pic:

Blowing out the candles:

I think they liked it. lol :)

My youngest neice. Her eyes. I kept telling her that we needed to get her devil horns on. lol

We had a sleepover Friday night, got up Sat morning baked the cake and decorated all day, went to the party then dropped kids off with Nana, went to a friends' house for a little party. We didn't get home until 3:30am. I'm soooooo tired today. lol

Well, time to put baby girl down for a nap. :)

Not feeling real social lately...

Not real sure why exactly. I'm finding it real hard to get on the computer. Hopeful things will change soon. I miss my online friends badly. Maybe once it gets too cold to go outside and things slow down a little bit. Sorry for my bad bloggin' lately.

I've had a list of things that I wanted to say but as soon as I get on here I lose them. You ever have that? haha
I do have pics of the kids....

She has hair! haha Sorry but I'm excited to be able to put it in pig tails.

Here's baby girl riding her bike Saturday after our local festival. She was tired and loaded on way to much candy. Hehe By the way, who in their right mind gives out Freeze Pops during a parade? Maybe I just don't get it but I think it's a silly idea. These weren't even frozen. They threw them and most of them burst and leaked. YUCK!! Of course the kiddos wanted to have them but I forgot my scissors in my drawer at home. Silly me!
Lil' Red on his bike. Only two good shots I got of them all day. I didn't bring my camera to the parade. Figured I would be keeping Baby Girl out of the way of the parade. I was right.



I spent all day today baking a cake for my neighbor's daughter. Started the oven at 8am this morning and finished decorating a little after 4pm. Whew! I only had few breaks since I started. Anyway, here's the finished product...


To give a better idea of the size.

I used the Romantic Castle Cake Kit from Wilton. So far I really like it. It has so many different uses. Anywhere from a Princess Castle to a Haunted Castle for Halloween. Can't wait to try that one.

She wanted a complete chocolate cake which turned out great. I didn't use Fondant so the crumbs from the cake mixed with the white icing made it look like a type of marble to me. Pretty cool effect.

I've also had some more dental work done. Had to have some more teeth pulled and now waiting for it to heal so I can get some more teeth. My dentist has come to the conclusion that since my teeth went downhill almost right after I had baby girl that pregnancy took too much from me. I then got an infection which I couldn't fight off as well. Oh well, I'm really self-conscious about it. Drives me nuts actually. I've brushed my teeth EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. since I've been able to do it on my own and I'm losing them. I have to fight the urge to be so angry or jealous of someone that I know doesn't brush like they should and they have PERFECT teeth.

I'm so embarrassed by them I don't smile as often as I should. It's only going to get worse when we work on the top. Right now it's easy to conceal since it's only the bottom. At any rate, I've still got stitches and am only able to eat mushy things. Which might help with weight loss. The biggest thing that gets me for the time being is that I'm in the choir at my church and getting in front of all those people is almost pure torture. Not to mention that I've started voice lessons because I'm extremely rusty. He thinks I've should have been doing solos months ago. I'm just so scared that my horrible teeth will be seen. The only thing that makes me feel better is the knowledge that I tried everything to keep my teeth healthy. Life and genetics got in the way.

To know people actually look down on others based on their teeth hurts. I wonder what do they think of me? I'm automatically lumped into a group of people that don't take care of themselves. Which couldn't be further from the truth. It hurts to know that I'm not approached because people will assume I'm disgusting when in reality my tooth loss was of no fault of my own.

Sorry about that. Kind of got off on a tangent but it made me feel better anyway. I guess I better get off here. I'm thinking of tackling the thousands of pics stored on the computer. This could take awhile. ;) Till next time!

Books, Ear aches, and Softball...

Hey!

Sorry it's been awhile. Things been pretty busy. For one thing I have finished the entire Harry Potter series a couple of weeks ago. I have read all 7 books plus the 7th twice. Went and seen "Order of the Phoenix" Friday before last in 3D. Pretty cool even though it was only the last 20 mins in 3D. Still worth it. I loved all the books, couldn't put them down.

In just this past week, Baby girl used the potty and we got all the tangles out of her hair, FINALLY. She's still scared of the brush but I'm hoping she'll get used to it. :)

We have bought another snake. He is a Brazillian Rainbow Boa named Ti. Pictures will come when I can get them on here.

I have also been playing softball in our church league for our church. The tournement was last week and we won the championship game. Ironically it was against the only team to beat us all season. This was my first time ever playing on a team. Did pretty good I think. :)

I also had to miss a couple of games due to ear infections. They were so bad the doctor gave me Lortabs to take the pain away. Couldn't play while on those, my poor neighbor babysat me till my sister got off work. He was so great. Took care of me and my kids all night. Wouldn't let me do a thing. Which meant he was basically watching 6 kids by himself.

I don't know anything else other than we need rain. The temps have came down and October is next month. Can't wait! :)

Fireworks, Holiday World, and Kids...Lots of Pics!!!

Hello!

Hope everyone had a great Fourth! We did. We went to his mom's house for dinner and fireworks. Here are a few pics of our day...well, night rather. :)

Baby Girl on her way to Nana's house.

Baby Girl and Lil' Red swinging.
Horseshoes anyone?


Happy Fourth!! Pretty decorations.

My MIL's neighbors' dog. Annoying little thing but cute!
Sparkler time!! Yes, he was supervised closely. Baby girl was even able to have one. As long as someone was holding it too. She loved them.
Our fireworks. I couldn't get a good shot of any of them. :( These will have to do. I tried anyway! :)

Ok, so I wrote in my last post that we were going to Holiday World. We went Thursday the 5th. Perfect weather for us. Overcast with occasional sunshine and around 75 to 80 degree weather. Lots better than the 90s we had been dealing with. According to family and friends back home we had a heck of a thunderstorm roll through here. My grandma who watched baby girl said it flooded a little at her house.

Anyway, here's a few pics...

We stopped on the way there at a Denny's. You can see some of the shirts that we tye dyed for the trip. :)

Lil' Red was the first one on the little bumper boats.
We're flying now!
Flying again!

At Splasin Safari. Lil' Red enjoying the water in the wave pool.

My oldest neice enjoying the water.

Lil' Red taking the wave! Jumped right into it.

Another wave got him. hehe

I sat on the edge of the wave pool and shot this picture as one of the many waves was coming at my feet.

Pretty much everyone had a good time. We had some drama but it didn't hurt the kids one bit. They had a blast and keep asking to go again. We didn't get to ride or see everything but they had fun and that's all that matters!

It was a little wierd because a lady grabbed my arm and said that we had a good idea about having all the kids in the same color shirts. Then she went on to say that when an abductor steals a kid they change their clothes but often don't change their shoes. She said that we should be mindful about what shoes our kids were wearing. We told her that we were fully aware of the dangers and thanks. Politely of course. The thing that bugged me was she asked while my oldest neice was standing there. It freaked her out. We had to calm her down. We did the shirts so that we could do a quit glance and count all the kids. We had 6 with us.

Was a good day but also long. We got there when it opened at 10am and we didn't leave till 7pm. My youngest neice didn't even make it far out of the parking lot before she fell asleep. My son and other neice made it about an hour away. I was shocked at that.

These were taken today(Friday) before we left to get the fim developed, well put on a CD anyway.

Baby Girl
Lil' Red putting on his seatbelt.
I tried to get a pic of my flower bush but I guess I was too close.

That's all for now. Have a great weekend and thanks for looking/reading! :)

Not Cancer!!!!! :)

I'm sorry I haven't been back. I've been busy catching up on housework which I'm still working on. All this stuff has piled on since my surgery and the days that I haven't been able to do anything. Top that off with a week of running around getting kids to practices it's hard to get anything done.

My results came back with no cancer at all! Woo hoo! I'm so excited. I can't write out exactly what he called the lump but it was basically a solid lump. He said that I could expect more probably. If they aren't taken out they could turn into cancer so I'm supposed to stay on top of it and keep doing self exams. I read while I was waiting on the doctor that a lot of physicians don't suggest doing self exams anymore. WTH?!! Please, PLEASE do self exams. You'll know exactly when something changes and it could mean the difference between a simple surgery or a whole regimen of treatment for cancer!! The faster you find something different the better. I messed up with mine and waited to long to get it checked out but in the end it ended up being fine. :)

Now, I know I promised a pic of the new haircut. Here it is: I need to dye my hair again. The cut looks good but the color sucks! ;) Also notice that I do not have glasses on. Jeremy told me I could get contacts for my birthday. I only have the one pair that are in but going in on Friday (I think) to order more. I love them! :)

This child never shuts up! hahaha She got up from her nap and I heard Mama, mama I bet 10 times in 5 mins. I love her though. :)
These next two pictures is what happens when you try to get a cat and a 2 yr old in the same picture. Do you think they care that momma wants a picture? haha